Wait until you get a taste of Nutraloaf. When a food violates the Geneva Convention, you know it's bad.
Jul 23, 2008 - Jokes
This just in:
A camera shop owner in Royal Oak, Mich. called police after a roll of film, containing what he believed to be child pornography, was developed. The 45 or so photos pictured what appeared to be a child posing with several naked women.
The investigation ended when a 23-year-old dwarf walked into police headquarters and proved he was no child. The photos were to be used in promotions for a record company.
A camera shop owner in Royal Oak, Mich. called police after a roll of film, containing what he believed to be child pornography, was developed. The 45 or so photos pictured what appeared to be a child posing with several naked women.
The investigation ended when a 23-year-old dwarf walked into police headquarters and proved he was no child. The photos were to be used in promotions for a record company.
Ads In Bills:
Have you ever noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. Well, I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels ... I write, "Could you throw this away for me? Thank You."
Grandma:
My grandmother has a bumper sticker on her car that says, "Sexy Senior Citizen". You don't want to think of your grandmother that way, do you? Out entering wet shawl contests. Makes you wonder where she got that dollar she gave you for your birthday.
Have you ever noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. Well, I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels ... I write, "Could you throw this away for me? Thank You."
Grandma:
My grandmother has a bumper sticker on her car that says, "Sexy Senior Citizen". You don't want to think of your grandmother that way, do you? Out entering wet shawl contests. Makes you wonder where she got that dollar she gave you for your birthday.
Billy and Willy were twins, and for their 13th birthday, Willy got a bicycle while Billy got a little portable radio. Willy hopped up on his bike and went to town. On the way he sees the Johnson's house on fire, firetrucks, the whole bit. He spins around and pedals as fast as he can back home. "Billy! Billy! Guess what? I saw a fire at old man Johnson's! There was fire engines! Firemen! and EVERYTHING!!!"
Billy looks up and says, "Yeah, I know, I heard about it 10 minutes ago on the news on my radio."
Willy scowls and jealously mutters, "You and your f*ckin' radio!" and storms off to go riding again. In town he sees just about the most exciting thing ever! Police, sirens, and all kinds of excitement, because the local bank had been robbed."
He races home as fast as he can, starts hollering before he's even completely in the door, "Billy! Billy! Guess what?"
Billy dryly interrupts with, "The bank was robbed?"
Willy scowls and storms off, muttering, "You and your f*ckn' radio!"
Well, this time he pedals clear through town, and out into the countryside on the other side. A few miles up the road he sees a poor little pig with its head stuck in a fence. He grins, parks the bike, climbs down the bank, pulls his pants down and gives it to the porker. Then he races as fast as he could all the way home.
"Billy! Billy! Guess what? I just had my first sexual experience!"
Billy looks up, dismisses Willy with a wave, "bah! In a pig's ass you did!"
"You and your fuckin' radio!" mutters Willy.
Billy looks up and says, "Yeah, I know, I heard about it 10 minutes ago on the news on my radio."
Willy scowls and jealously mutters, "You and your f*ckin' radio!" and storms off to go riding again. In town he sees just about the most exciting thing ever! Police, sirens, and all kinds of excitement, because the local bank had been robbed."
He races home as fast as he can, starts hollering before he's even completely in the door, "Billy! Billy! Guess what?"
Billy dryly interrupts with, "The bank was robbed?"
Willy scowls and storms off, muttering, "You and your f*ckn' radio!"
Well, this time he pedals clear through town, and out into the countryside on the other side. A few miles up the road he sees a poor little pig with its head stuck in a fence. He grins, parks the bike, climbs down the bank, pulls his pants down and gives it to the porker. Then he races as fast as he could all the way home.
"Billy! Billy! Guess what? I just had my first sexual experience!"
Billy looks up, dismisses Willy with a wave, "bah! In a pig's ass you did!"
"You and your fuckin' radio!" mutters Willy.
